French Vanilla and Evil Chickens
by Fatal Instigator
Summary: Remy and Peter discuss Pietro's luck with the ladies, with a little help from the Brotherhood.


**Well, you know how I was going to write a slash fic? I decided to put it aside for awhile, due to the fact that I despise Romance fics, and the few I did wrote…didn't have a happy ending.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own X Men Evolution or MxPx _Chick Magnet_**

**Quote For The Day: ****_Slow and seductive wins the race_**** ~ Just something one of my friends said out of the blue…yeah…******

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Scene opens to the boardwalk, where Peter, John and Remy were currently hanging out.

"Yummy! French Vanilla frozen yogurt is my fav!" John cried, swinging his shopping bag side to side. "Giddy up Remy-luv!"

"It would be easier if y' just walked."

"And get my new sandals dirty? You must be kidding!"

"But y' 're heavy!"

John sighed and turned his attention to the person to his left. "I got so many good bargains today, Peter! Look at these cute capries I got! They were on sale."

"That's nice"

"Has anyone seen Snuggle bunny today?"

Peter looked over at a large gathering of teenage girls. "…He's right over there."

"Snuggle bunny betrayed me!"

"Don't we all"

Remy sighed as John burst out in tears. "Hurry up an' finish your treat, it's startin' t' melt…an' startin' t' get on moi jacket!"

"Snuggle bunny betrayed me!"

"Please luv"

"Remy!" John threw his frozen yogurt on the ground and tightened his grip around Remy's shoulders. "You called me luv!"

"Cut it out John." Peter snapped. "We have to get our comrade back!"

"No woman shall take him!"

"Y' gotta 'mit, he can just stay still an' girl's would flock t' him…damn him!"

Peter chuckled. "Jealous?"

"Non"

"Sure…."

John gulped as Remy started screaming a bunch of colorful curses in French. "Petes you got lover bunny upset."

"Lover bunny?"

"Opps! Did I say that out loud? Hahaha-hey! It's the Brotherhood!"

Peter looked over and smiled as he watched the Lance trip Scott. "He'll make a fine lad one day."

"Da perfec' solder!" Remy cried.

"Yes sir, a fine lad he'll be."

"Quite handsome too"

Peter and Remy shuddered. 

John jumped off Remy's back and waved to them. "Over here!"

Lance looked over and spotted Remy. "It's you!"

"Moi?"

"Yes!"

"That's the guy that almost killed me, yo!"

John squealed and pointed a finger at Todd. "Hobbit! Die, die, die!" He grabbed a large mallet from behind his back and leapt at him. "You can't take Sensei! I won't allow it!"

Fred glanced at Peter. "Hobbit?"

"Don't ask"

"Where's Pietro" Lance asked as he watched Todd run away from John.

"Help!!!"

"Die, nasty hobbit! Die!"

"Over there" Peter pointed toward the girls.

Lance and Fred shook their heads sadly.

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Meanwhile in the park…

"We have here, John Doe. He has been making this castle out of cards for one month, nonstop." The reporter for Bayville News said into her microphone. "Now he only needs one more card and his creation will be complete."

The crowd gathered around John Doe gasped as he carefully placed the last card onto the castle…

"Help!" Todd jumped on John Doe's lap.

"Die hobbit!" John threw his mallet down towards Todd's head…and hit the card castle instead, knocking it down.

Todd screamed and ran away with John at his heels.

"My castle…"

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"Y' see, Pietro is wha we call a 'chick magnet'" Remy explained. "Da girl's can't resist 'em."

"A what?"

"A chick magnet."

"Pietro is?" Fred chuckled. "That's funny."

Remy started snapping his fingers. _Well he's a chick magnet if ya know what I mean._

"We know"

Remy: _Da way da girlies just go t' him, well ya should've seen._

"We seen it"

Peter: _He's got hair, he's got style and it's plain to see,  
Smooth shoes and no tattoos,hey,  
Dad is glad as can be. Yeah!___

Lance nodded. _He ain't got a girlfriend, no one to sing this song to._

Fred: _He's gotta settle down, if he meets that special girl soon._

Peter: _He knows just what to do when it comes to the girls  
He writes them poetry and he picks them flowers._

Remy: _He knows just what t' say when it, comes t' da ladies  
Knows how t' make a girl smile, how t' drive a girl crazy!_

Fred: _He ain't got a girlfriend, no one to sing this song to.  
He's gotta settle down, if he meets that special girl soon._

They all start making 'bu wop" noises…keeping to the beat of the invisible band.

Remy: _Chick magnet.  
Chick magnet_

Peter: _Chick magnet.  
Chick magnet_

Lance:_ Chick magnet.  
Chick magnet_

Fred: _Chick magnet.  
Chick magnet_

John runs by and notices them singing. "You started a musical without me?"

Todd stamped his foot impatiently. "Hello? Remember me? We were having a comical chase scene here!"

"Sorry" 

They continue their comical chase…now being followed by the evil chickens from Zelda

"Is the song finished yet?"

"Nope…two more 'chick magnets' to go."

_Chick magnet.  
Chick magnet_

Numerous bystanders shake their heads and turn back to whatever they were doing.

A little boy cried and a dog barked.

"That was fun!" Fred slapped Peter on the back, sending him flying towards a conveniently located fruit stand.

"Ah! The pineapples, they burn!"

Remy laughed. "What a kidder dat Peter is."

Applause meter comes on and the live audience begins to laugh.

And the credits roll.

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**And that my friends, is what we call a 'writer's block ending'**


End file.
